trigger warning

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oh, what a waste of a perfectly good, clean wrist

mindfulparentingproject:

We really need to throw the “your parents love you no matter what” narrative out the window. It’s a harsh truth, but in some cases parents don’t love their children no matter what. In some cases, they don’t love their children at all.

If your parents are abusive and manipulative, they don’t love you. If they hurt you and make you question your self-worth, they don’t love you.

Because abuse is not love.

We need to eliminate the obsession with the 1950s nuclear family, and embrace that familial love might mean your parents are out of the picture.

putrid0:

sickdelights-deactivated2023091:

cant talk rn i’m busy being a danger to myself

"you ever just want to fucking cut your body to shreds until you bleed the fuck out because that’s where I am at right now." 

      — (via sa-dnesss)

i-will-recover-tomorrow:

"Anyone who has actually been that sad can tell you that there’s nothing beautiful or literary or mysterious about depression." 

      — Jasmine Warga, My Heart and Other Black Holes (via thoughtkick)

i-will-recover-tomorrow:

feral-ballad:

The desire for reassurance. And, equally, to be reassured. (The itch to ask whether I’m still loved; and the itch to say, I love you, half-fearing that the other has forgotten, since the last time I said it.)

Susan Sontag, from As Consciousness Is Harnessed to Flesh: Journals and Notebooks, 1964-1980, edited by David Rieff

jashitpostinghell:

It’s so difficult to express neglect.

Other forms of abuse have always something that stands out, that’s out of the norm. If you’ve been neglected… You instead miss something. You don’t even question why it was important because you never had it in your entire life. And how do you express it?

Maybe it’s just something that happens, not every family is the same. Yet you can’t grasp why your behavior is different than your cousins, why you do feel that something is out of place.

But you can’t desire something you never had and never knew how it felt like, right?

You can try to open up. But you never suffered any personal violation. You’re just envious. You didn’t have it, they seem so happy. They are so happy.

Neglect always feel minor. Even the worst case of neglect can be brushed off with: “oh poor baby, now you have someone that feeds and cleans you. You are now healed”.

But neglect is a form of abuse too.

Neglectful parents pride themselves with kids when they hear situations of abuse: “I’m not bad, I never hit you. You should be thankful of your family”. But you still created deep wounds in my soul: I’m not able to function, to behave like a normal being.

Tough it up, you must face everything on your own. But you were 7, 11, 14 years old. And you were put in front of situations that would be difficult even for an adult.

You had to learn a way out, without any guidance. You had to learn how to swim in a stormy ocean, because the ones that should’ve teached you in a calm pool were never there for you. Sink or swim, and at least you managed to breathe. But at what cost?

Your head manages to stay up, but your body is all clenched up. You can’t move. Everyone around you is walking, the water arrives at their hips. They run into the sun, you can never reach them.

It leaves scars. It’s hard to heal. It’s abuse but it’s not seen as that. Tough it up, they say.

It’s so difficult to express neglect.

reminder #1 

aardvaark:

this is for me, but maybe its for you too. its absolutely devastating to become aware that other people had loving & supportive parents when you didnt, that people were cared for when you werent. its hard to allow yourself to process it, but you deserved to feel loved and so did they. only difference was they got what they should have, and that is HARD AS FUCK to deal with, if you didnt. dont be mad at them tho, dont despise them for living how you were meant to live. one day you will get the softness and love you should have, and maybe that doesnt make up for anything, but directing your well-earned anger towards people who dont deserve it isnt making up for anything either. 

:

Hope is a dangerous thing that I can no longer afford.

brokenflicker:

I want to die again and this time I have no fancy way of saying it. I’m not going to beat around the bush anymore. I want to die. I want to sleep and never wake up again.

The sad thing is no one really cares

w-o-n-d-e-r-land:

Pretending to be happy so I don’t hurt the ones I love is really hard. I’m tired.

never-not-ever:

I can’t even count how many times I’ve thought this lately